first and foremost, we at paul don't lie apologize for the sporadic updates as of late. one of us just started a full-time job and the other REALLY fucking likes 'king of the hill', so there's maybe five hours in the day when he's not boomin' his hauer. BUT WE PULLIN' A GRANT HILL, AMERICA! WE RISING! and what better way to come back than to post pictures of ugly dudes who pull tail WAY above their heads. call it petty, call it mean, call it whatever you want. just remember : if you have money, we all fucking hate you.
CENTRAL DIVISION
UPSET ALERT! UPSET ALERT! UPSET ALERT!
fucccck, we starting with some controversial shit right here. everyone in the audience was CERTAIN that we were going joakim. betting their cars. betting their mortgage. betting their KIDS. "MONEY IN THE BANK," they shouted, "MONEY IN THE BANK!" someone better call dolph ziggler, cause we're gonna need some crowd control in this joint. and i mean, c'mon, lets be frank - joakim noah is not a handsome man, far from it. i know this just as well as you do. I'M NOT BLIND! but, ladies and gentlemen, this is NOT an ugliness contest. this is a least pretty contest. and omer asik is the least pretty man i've seen all day. just look at him. FUUUUCK! he may only be fifteen years old, he may exclusively listen to train, i just don't know, but this sweaty turk DEFINITELY has a quaff, so he sucks and i hate him.
IS THAT ED BEGLEY JR? IS THAT CHRIS MULLIN WITH A SERIOUS CASE OF BAD HEAD? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? pro tip, ladies : if a guy wears a number higher than forty-three, he's going to end up either pissing on your couch or pissing in your sink. WOULD YOU RISK ALL THAT JUST TO HANG OUT WITH STAN SITWELL?
DETROIT PISTONS
[this post has been redacted by the american cancer society. we wholeheartedly apologize for any pain or suffering it may have caused]
FREE KEVIN THAT'S THE FUCKING SHIT
INDIANA PACERS
something i'm noticing after going through all of these teams: white nba players are SO much less pretty than their black counterparts. i'm talking nine times out of ten, as you look up and down the roster of a team, you're going to be DISGUSTED by the white bois that you find. case in point, mike dunleavy jr. do i blame this on the fact that they're mostly 7 foot tall eastern europeans with bad haircuts? fuck and yes.
MILWAUKEE BUCKS
i'm conflicted with this one. drew gooden isn't what i would refer to as a pretty man (CARLOS DELFINO RISE UP), but he ain't no jordan farmar looking mo'fucker either. but there is NO ONE on the roster that is i better choice, i swear. i'm telling you, take a look at the milwaukee bucks roster and find someone else. GO AHEAD NOW! I GOT TIME AND A BOWL OF RICE, I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE! and fuck YOU if you tell me that i should've picked luc richard mbah a moute. dudes got swagger by the letter and fuck if that ain't a lot.
