DIRK,
OH DIRK.
DO OTHERS UNDERSTAND?
DO OTHERS KNOW JUST HOW TALENTED YOU ARE?
DO OTHERS REALIZE THAT YOU JUST PUT THE LAKERS IN, AS BERNIE MAC WOULD SAY, "TROUBLEEEE TROUBLEEEE TROUBLEEEE"?
WHAT IS IT THAT MAKES YOU SO WONDERFUL?
IS IT YOUR TOOTHY GRIN?
YOUR HAPPY DISPOSITION?
YOUR MONGO FOREHEAD?
YOUR UNABATED LOVE FOR A SHORT CANADIAN WITH FLOPPY HAIR?
TRUTHFULLY, I DON'T EVEN CARE, BUT JUST TELL ME THIS,
HOW DO YOU SHOOT OFF ONE FOOT WITH MORE ACCURACY THAN I HAVE WITH TWO?
AND I'M TRYING DIRK, I SWEAR -
SPOT UP, SHOULDERS LEVEL WITH MY KNEES, LET 'ER RIP -
NOTHING BUT BACK RIM.
BUT YOU, DIRK, YOU ARE JUST SUCH AN ASSHOLE.
YOU THROW THE BALL AT THE HOOP ALL WILLY NILLY,
SEEMINGLY WITH NO IDEA WHERE IT'S GOING TO LAND.
BUT, WHOOPS, GUESS WHERE IT LANDED?
BOTTOM OF THE NET, BOUNCING OFF LAMAR ODOM'S HEAD.
IS IT A COINCIDENCE THAT YOUR BEST WEEK AS A PRO COINCIDES WITH THE RELEASE OF THOR?
I'M NOT ONE TO MAKE BIG CLAIMS, DIRK,
BUT LETS SAY YOU ARE A GOD.
LETS SAY YOU ARE THOR -
LET ME FUCK NATALIE PORTMAN.
